MOVIE REVIEW: 44 Inch Chest

44 Inch Chest
95 min
2010 (New Zealand)

A jealous husband and his friends plot the kidnapping of his wife's lover with the intention of restoring his wounded ego.

Director: Malcolm Venville
Writers: Louis Mellis, David Scinto
Stars: Ray Winstone, Ian McShane and John Hurt

44 Inch Chest stars some real acting talent in the colour of Ray Winstone, Ian McShane, and John Hurt. The depressing film starts off in a delirious daze and continues to confuse the mind until the last minutes before the credits role. Long story short Ray Winstone plays a betrayed husband alongside a cheating spouse whose actions have destroyed his world. His friends come to the rescue and kidnap his wife’s boy toy so that revenge can be had.

A solid and believable premise captures the emotion of the plot, the dialogue is rich with coarse language and descriptive conversation, Britain’s famous dark-humour brings relief in the melancholy parts of the film, and the characters, as aged gangsters, are top-notch.

The setting was lacking with the majority of the movie taking place in a dilapidated apartment hideout and the actual action was less than what you were expecting. Overall the film is a throwback to classic British crime drama and mixes it with romance and betrayal.

Stay clear of this film if:
-you’re upset by the words “cunt” & “fuck.”
-British slang irritates and confuses you.
-more story and dialogue than action and explosions.

Watch this film if:
-you’re a fan of classic old-school gangster mentality
-you like John Hurt, Ian McShane, and Ray Winstone
-you prefer dark comedy, strong emotional story, and a lacking ending.

Final Verdict 3/5

-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*183
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MOVIE REVIEW: A Tale of Two Sisters

A Tale of Two Sisters
Janghwa, Hongryeon (original title)
115 min
13 June 2003 (South Korea)

A family is haunted by the tragedies of deaths within the family.

Director: Jee-woon Kim
Writer: Jee-woon Kim (screenplay)
Stars: Kap-su Kim, Jung-ah Yum and Su-jeong Lim


Korean horror is one of my favorite genres to watch. Most people can't get past another language and their subtitles, the intensely slow story-lines that explode at the end with emotion and action, and the unique acting that the Orient has. This film is one of the top rated horror/drama films in the new Millennium.

The beginning of the movie will separate the real movie fans from the fake ones; it takes 35 mins before anything really happens, BUT what transpires in that shallow and quiet first half hour are extremely important to the development of the main characters.

Minimal dialogue and facial acting is super huge in Asian horror and A Tale of Two Sisters is a great example of how it should be performed. The screenplay and art direction are superb and creepy as creepy can get without adding some supernatural subplot. Jump-scares are aplenty and the Macguffin is used to great potential. If you are looking for a great film in general that mixes horror, mystery, and thrilling albeit confusing events.

The few things that A Tale of Two Sisters that can be considered "bad," are the massive amounts of deafening silence within the film, the lighting and grimm looking house (buy a lamp for goodness sake!), and the super confusing storyline that doesn't make sense until the last 30 minutes.

A Tale of Two Sisters get s 4/5.

+ World Renown Horror Film
+ Great Suspense, Scares, and a Mystery that Sherlock Holmes could not solve
+ Camera Work is creative and the visuals are addicting
- Confusing plot. Stay Away if You cannot retain memories
- Long intro before anything happens

-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*182
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MOVIE REVIEW: Inside

"A movie to ruin your life..."


Inside (2007)
À l'intérieur (original title)
82 min
13 June 2007 (France)

Four months after the death of her husband, a woman on the brink of motherhood is tormented in her home by a strange woman who wants her unborn baby.

Directors: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury
Writer: Alexandre Bustillo
Stars: Béatrice Dalle, Alysson Paradis and Nathalie Roussel


Described as *the* most brutal, unrelenting, and gruesome movie you'll ever see "Inside" has to be one of the most gore-filled, grotesque, violent films I've ever seen. Forget Cannibal Holocaust, completely ignore The Human Centipede 1 and 2, don't even mention Hostel. "Inside" is non-stop cover-your-eyes, mouth agape, oh my god!, and super wide eyed moments. It's hard to even put words together after finishing this journey of blood, turmoil, horror, and home-made C-Sections. [*Note: this review was written before I had watched A Serbian Film...]

Inside has a simple plot; Man and woman make a baby, as woman is pregnant she get into a wreck, man dies and she's left to bare the child, evil old lady wants woman's child and will stop at nothing to get it. Seems straight-forward no? This piece of claret red covered art is overwhelming to say the least. If you are squeamish, weak-hearted, and sensitive to anything child related be very wary of this movie. What transpires in this film makes you feel so much better about your day; because chances are you'll never experience anything like this...ever...ever. Plus, it's astonishing that this film is only one hour and fifteen minutes in duration because it feels as if you've watched it for hours.

Trying to get past the extreme copious amounts of brutality the acting in this film is quite exciting and hair-raising. Although all of the film is crying, screaming, choking, gurgling, spewing, dying, and full of torture all the actors succeed in making you believe what you see is what you get. Effects appear like they're borrowed straight from Faces of Death and there is more blood used in this film than Lestat can drink or Elizabeth Bathory bathed with.

Besides the very strange and ho-ly-sh-it Zombie moment at the end thanks to close-range Flashbulb Riot Gun and the incredible C-section scene this film could be put in the same category as the films listed in the first paragraph, BUT "Inside" is a very unique French film that will stay in your mind and memory long after you've watched it. Not a good Mother's Day movie and definitely not a top choice for date-night.

I give Inside a 2/5 for it's way way way over the top gore and outrageous scenes and haunting plot. I had a harder time watching this film than Human Centipede 2 and I thought that film was hard to stomach. [*Note again, this film was reviewed before A Serbian Film hit my eyes...] Don't misunderstand my rating though; I'm not demeaning the obnoxious amounts of guts, blood, and severed arteries I'm simply scoring on overall entertainment. This is a shock flick; a movie to keep in your collection to show the creepy friends you have what gore really is. Or for if you have a significant other who is into torture-porn and extreme amounts of gore; then it can be a date-night choice.

Unless you have experience in watching gore-filled movies I'd pass on this film. If you prefer suspense, mystery, and ghost or apparition type scary movies stay far away from Inside. If you prefer Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wolf Creek, I Saw the Devil, and films like High Tension (also French) than go ahead and enjoy Inside.

If you like Inside you'll also like:
 "Grace."
"The Strangers."
"High Tension."


-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*180
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MOVIE REVIEW: Merantau

Merantau (2009)
134 min

In Minangkabau, West Sumatera, Yuda a skilled practitioner of Silat Harimau is in the final preparations to begin his "Merantau" a century's old
rites-of-passage to be carried out by the community's young men that will see him leave the comforts of his idyllic farming village and make a name for himself in the bustling city of Jakarta. After a series of setbacks leave Yuda homeless and uncertain about his new future, a chance encounter results in him defending the orphaned Astri from becoming the latest victim of a European human trafficking ring led by the wildly psychotic, Ratger and his right-hand man Lars. With Ratger injured in the mêlée and seeking both his "merchandise" and bloody retribution, Yuda's introduction to this bustling city is a baptism of fire as he is forced to go on the run with Astri and her younger brother Adit as all the pimps and gangsters that inhabit the night hound the streets chasing their every step. With escape seemingly beyond their grasp, Yuda has no choice but to face his attackers in an adrenaline charged, jaw-dropping finale.

Director:Gareth Evans
Writers:Gareth Evans, Daiwanne Ralie (translation)

Stars:Iko Uwais, Sisca Jessica and Christine Hakim

Merantau was made before The Raid: Redemption. Both films have
similarities; a common cast and great fight scenes. But where The Raid excels in
explosive choreography Merantau falls behind just a little. I might be a tad
over-critical as there is a two year gap between the two films and a lot of
training and choreography can be planned. Unlike The Raid, Merantau has a story;
it's not much, but there is a basis for the plot and it resembles The Transporter.
Yuda goes away on a sacrilegious pilgrimage to find his soul and to become a man in his
own way. After his initial plan falls through he does all he can to save a damsel in distress. Then as the cliche goes Damsel and Knight fall in love through it all.

Iko Uwais is the master of Silat as Tony Jaa is the master of Muay Thai.
These two actors/ action stars share many of the same qualities but in my own
personal opinion Uwais is a far better actor and fighter on screen. Donny
Alamsyah makes an appearance as Yuda's older brother which is ironic because in
The Raid Donny played the older brother of Uwais' Rama. Another familiar face is
Yayan Ruhian who plays a small role as a clean-shaved short-haired mercenary who
sacrifices himself for Yuda.

Merantau is a good film if you're a fan of action films. I found this movie
looking up previous and future work of Iko Uwais and this film, as well as The
Raid, is apart of some of the greatest fight movies of all time.
I recommend this film.

I give Merantau a 4/5.

-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*179

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Raid: Redemption

The Raid: Redemption
2011
1 h 41 min

A SWAT team becomes trapped in a tenement building ran by a ruthless crime lord and his army of henchman.

The Raid took me and all of the film festivals by storm. This action-packed film is one of the most entertaining "fight" movie I've ever seen. The level of difficulty in the choreography and the intense, long, and painful fight scenes showcase how an action movie should be done.

The best part about The Raid is the complete lack of story. The premise is a Thai SWAT team is sent to an apartment complex of 30 floors to find and capture a crime kingpin. The complex however is filled with dangerous employees of the kingpin and will stop at nothing to protect their boss. There is no emotional support for the lead character, no background tale to setup the film, no outlandish plot to remember, just mesmerizing violence and action.

This movie has everything: Special Weapons and Tactical Operations, Sub-machine gun warfare, assault tactics, assassinations, bombs, handgun combat, knife-play, sword-play, close quarters combat, mixed martial arts, muay thai, jujitsu, and many others.

If you want a great action film in your collection to watch over and over again. The Raid is a great addition. I give this film a grand applause and a 5 out of 5.


-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*178
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MOVIE REVIEW: Valhalla Rising

Valhalla Rising
93 min
10 March 2010 (France)

Director: Nicolas Winding Refn
Writers: Nicolas Winding Refn, Roy Jacobsen
Stars: Mads Mikkelsen, Maarten Stevenson and Alexander Morton


1000 AD, for years, One Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strength, has been held prisoner by the Norse chieftain Barde. Aided by Are, a boy slave, One Eye slays his captor and together he and Are escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness. On their flight, One Eye and Are board a Viking vessel, but the ship is soon engulfed by an endless fog that clears only as the crew sights an unknown land. As the new world reveals its secrets and the Vikings confront their terrible and bloody fate, One Eye discovers his true self.

The best thing about Valhalla Rising is the star, the artistic visuals, and the musical direction.
I found this film searching for movies Mads Mikkelson had done and this one jumped right out at me. Nordic origins, badass warrior lead role, low-level movie, and most of all not a lot of people have seen it.

The story follows "One-Eye" a savage nordic warrior who is mute and full of hate. He and his trusted companion, in the form of a young nord, follow a small group of Scottish Christians to "the holy land" of Jerusalem. But as they embark on their journey they become lost in a hazy mist and wind up in North America.

This film is a psychological poem thats displayed with hatred, blood, and some gruesome scenes of battle. However, the film is adamant about showing off the scenery and backdrops and leaning on Mikkelson's silent expressions rather than gaining momentum in the area of interest. Valhalla rising becomes boring and relies too much on the visuals, which are breath-taking. I'd show some screenshots but I'd be cheating you; the whole film is gorgeous and was shot entirely in Scotland.

Valhalla Rising is a one-time watch for the artsy movie goer.
+Nordic Origins
+Scottish Accents
+Mads Mikkelson is a badass and doesn't say a single word.
+Visually Stunning
-Not enough substance to keep your attention
-Terrible ending

I give Valhalla Rising a 2/5.
Cheers to Mads Mikkelson.

-Daniel, Jedi Editor
*177

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